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[07 Dec 2009|04:25pm] |
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I am very very happy. Annoyed at most of my life, but retardedly cheek splittingly happy anyway.
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[07 Jul 2009|01:40am] |
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I feel awful. I am not being honest, and I dont know what to do, and those two things are clashing. Boo.
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[25 Jun 2009|03:46pm] |
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I remember the first time someone called me "baby" was after I had started college and I almost burst into laughter, which would have been extremely inappropriate. I remember thinking that this person clearly would never understand me if they ever thought I was the kind of girl who someone could call "baby." I flash onto this memory every time I say the word, which for some reason has been quite frequently lately, and I wonder every single time if I sound as rediculous saying it as I feel, and if the person has a similar reaction to mine, which really just borders on "srsly?"
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[23 Jun 2009|10:28pm] |
It just seems really dumb to me that I am prepared to accept so many things I really don't like because of something that I undefinably do. It seems equally dumb to me I could conceivably have all of the things that I do want without that undefinable thing. I wish I had a clue which one would make me happier in the long run. I really wish it didn't make me so unhappy in the meantime. Why is there never all good and all bad, just a half-answered wish that makes the word "IRONY" the fabric of my life?
PS I am starting to feel less like I am looking for a job, and more like I am just unemployed. This is not good. This is in fact very very bad.
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(1 *** | Razzle Dazzle)
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[30 Mar 2009|09:23am] |
As of April 1st, I shall enter "Look for job!" lockdown mode. Forgive me in advance for shamelessly plugging everyone I know in search of a salary.
PS: After this phase comes "Look for roommate!" mode. Any Rockers planning on moving to DC, I can cook and I have furniture already!
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[28 Jan 2009|09:17am] |
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And then people lift you up at weird moments too. It's nice.
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[21 Jan 2009|10:52pm] |
I have no incredible moments from the Inauguration to share. I was ticketed closer than most, I went, it was cold, I was happy.
I'm way more excited about the idea that this internship really will turn into a job, and every day it looks more and more likely that this will happen. It would be easy to transition into. I'd be able to live in DC. I could do this. I could do this well. It would be perfect.
Real life would be slightly less scary if I could do this.
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[19 Jan 2009|11:05pm] |
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People wound you at very unexpected moments in your life.
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[17 Jan 2009|01:07am] |
It's a full house this weekend as people all over the country pour into this city. By Sunday, our house will boast a contingent of a full dozen people from at least four different states.
I myself, having scored a prime-o front row ticket, shall join the other four million people thronging the Capitol stepps to see Barack Obama sworn in as President. To make you even more jealous, I bought electic socks for the occasion.
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[17 Dec 2008|02:30am] |
So I keep seeing adds on TV for this thing called the Snuggie. I don't know if anyone else has seen these, but they really intrigue me. First of all because I think they look like the kind of robes monks might have worn in the 16th century if they were evil and had horns and lived in fantasy land. Second of all because they look really warm. It's not that I often sit around going "MAN I WISH I COULD USE MY HANDS!" because, frankly, I am not so retared as the people on TV that I cannot figure that out. But they would be kind of cool all the same, because they are big.
I love break. So far I have read every Roald Dahl book ever and played massive amounts of dorky video games.
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[11 Dec 2008|10:09am] |
Case in point: I went to sleep at 1 freaking out, tried to wake up at 5, failed, woke up at 6, took a shower, finished three pages, came to the library.....
Am now finished. Two hours ahead of schedule. WTF?
There's not even a corresponding "owwwwww" to go along with it.
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[11 Dec 2008|01:01am] |
I keep barreling back and forth between extremes when it comes to working on exams.
I keep panicking because eleven hours is not nearly enough time to finish this paper, when at the same time six hours seems like plenty of time. What?
I'm on my last paper, three four page essay questions, due at noon tomorrow. I stupidly did not start working on it today at 4, like I planned, because it had taken me so much less time than I had thought to do my other work. I currently have one question done that is technically the right length but kind of crappy, and sort of started the hardest question.
I can't keep my eyes open, which makes it sort of pointless to keep working. Boo noon deadlines.
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[05 Dec 2008|10:42am] |
So, I have figured out why I have such a harder time working this year than I used to. It's because at Simon's Rock, a lot of what motivated me was the romance of writing a paper about Freud while huddling in a cabin-type dorm in the Berkshires. One bedroom apartments across Route 1 from KFC inspire me much less.
I have however become obsessed with tea, which anyone who knows me at all will agree is bizarre. I have loudly proclaimed my disdain for leaf-flavored water in the past, and yet am somehow on my second box of tea in as many weeks.
There is one thing, however, that this apartment has going for it over Simon's Rock. And that thing is a double bed.
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(1 *** | Razzle Dazzle)
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[23 Nov 2008|12:08pm] |
Funniest thing happened today. Friend says some movie will make everyone cry, but not me because I'm tough.
Hahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahaha.
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(2 *** | Razzle Dazzle)
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[07 Sep 2008|01:48pm] |
I think one of the few truly great things about being in a place like this is that the little things that most people don't think about become unimaginably exciting. Things like making pancakes on the stove top with butter instead of Pam and not burning them.
Small victories.
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(1 *** | Razzle Dazzle)
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[05 Aug 2008|03:38am] |
So while I was in France my roommate sent me an e-mail from shit street, resulting in me leasing a one bedroom apartment which will be very depressing, very nice, and very expensive all at the same time.
If you are selling a couch, a TV, and a microwave for under a hundred dollars please call me.
In other news, I'm obsessed with this aged Gouda at Whole Foods.
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[16 Jul 2008|10:26am] |
Things I will miss about Paris:
1) Riding bikes in heels
2) Two euro bottles of wine
3) Watching the sunset at Invalides
4) Watching the sunrise at the Champs du Mars
5) Speaking French
6) Having an excuse to go out to dinner every night
7) Feeling lucky
8) Not knowing what I'll be doing when I wake up
9) Walking everywhere
10) Cheese plates
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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[09 Jul 2008|02:35am] |
So, the Eiffel Tower is blue for the next two months in honor of the EU. It's kind of gorgeous.
Tonight we went to see the opera "The Fly" which is based on the 1986 sci-fi movie. Interesting choice to set to opera, but so up my alley. Drank champagne, talked about externalized verses internalized hatred of the self.
Walked to Notre Dame. Strolled the Ile Saint Louis, had Berthillions and watched the Seine.
Walked to Bastille. Took off shoes.
Gentlemen's Club. Vodka soda.
And walked home, with the blue Eiffel Tower my landmark as to how close I am to home.
Heels were a bad choice tonight.
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(Razzle Dazzle)
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tonallan's journal